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Cloudylocks and the Three Clones
(Hey, it’s not as funny and ecchi as the last parody, but I hope it’ll give you a good laugh.  [link] ) Once upon a time there were three little clones. There was Bother clone… Loz: “Let’s play!  ”There was Brother clone 2; but we could call him as Sister clone since he looks like a girl anyway. Yazoo: “hmp.” >_> And there was Baby clone. Kadaj: “Where’s mother? Have you seen mother? I’ll kill you if you don’t tell me where mother is…. Mother where the hell are you?!!!!”  The three of them all lived in a small little cottage just outside the outskirts of Midguar. One day sister clone made porridge for breakfast. When everything was all set, they all sat down on the table to eat.  “Ooouch!” screamed the oldest brother clone as he frantically jumps up from his seat and starts to fan his tongue. “My porridge is too fucking hot!!! I need Water!!! Owwie…” he pushed his chair aside making a bee-line for the sink.  “hmp…” Yazoo scoffed. “My porridge is too cold. I could barely stick my spoon in it.” Said sister clone as he nonchalantly repeatedly thumped his spoon on the frozen porridge. “I must have forgotten to put it in the ‘mako wave oven’.”  (  I got that “mako wave oven” idea from my good friend Matt.  Thanks dude! I owe ya one! XD)“Well my porridge is juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust right. “ said baby clone cheerfully. “But I won’t eat it ‘cuz its crap and it isn’t made by ‘Mother’!”  “Well soooory for living…!” said Yazoo as he rolls his eyes then folds his arms with a vein popping on his forehead. “I’m not exactly good at cooking you know, and I’m not really a woman either. So how the hell should I know how to cook those damn porridges for fuck’s sake?!”Sister clone was about to strangle his younger brother, but then… “Ooh! I know!” Exclaimed the youngest one as a sudden light bulb appears on top of his head. “Why don’t we just look for ‘Mother’ so she could make us some real porridge?” With that settled – and having nothing better to do – the three of them went on a wild goose chase in search for their long lost ‘Mother’ so that she could make them some real good porridge. They all geared their bikes and set off into the horizon hoping for a REUNION with their ‘Mother’.…Just then, just as the three clones had left the house; another bike came zooming along noisily with an equally large motor engine. The bike skidded to a halt and was parked rather lopsidedly by the front porch by this so called ‘Delivery Boy’ with incredibly spiky blonde hair… Let’s just say that his name was Cloudylocks. The delivery boy stepped off of his bike, removing his goggles, carrying with him what seemed to be a small black box with caution ribbons wrapped all over it. He walked over to the front door and knocked a few times. “Delivery for the JENOVA Brothers!” he shouted, but there was no answer from within. He knocked again… “Hello? Is anybody home?” For a few moments he stood in front of the door, occasionally peeking through the window to see if anyone was inside; contemplating if he should just go or wait for the people to come back. He then accidentally pushes on the door finding it being left ajar. You could actually see random question marks popping on top of the blonde’s head as he was faced with the situation. What if he just left the package there and goes on his merry little way? Besides, he had better things to do… like mope for the rest of his life in an abandoned old church… But the door was opened in front of him as if beckoning him to come inside. Eventually his curiosity got the better of him and then quickly poked his spiky little head inside to look. It wouldn’t hurt to look around for a bit could it? ‘Sides, he’ll leave the package inside anyway. The first thing that caught his attention was the waft of some cooked food that was set on the table. He gulped while clutching his stomach which gave the faintest of rumbles. The just idea of food made his mouth water. He had been searching for this cottage in the middle of nowhere for days that he didn’t even have time to think of food. Cloudylocks went over to the table, to find three bowls of quickly cooling porridge. First he tried the first bowl with one huge spoon full. Just as the spoon touched his mouth his eyes grew wide as dinner plates as he shot up. “Oooowwwuch!!!” He jumped as his tongue was burnt, making him grab the second bowl of very cold porridge that was as cold as ice. He gave a sigh of relief as the ice melted around his tongue. He then started to eat in earnest with the third bowl which, in his opinion, was juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust right. He gobbled everything up within seconds, wolfing the porridge for all its worth. Cloudylocks gave a huge burp after he was finished, patting his overly huge stomach. He decided to prolong the uninvited hospitality by looking around the place. And as his usual ritual, he would always do some training after he ate. Old habits never die… Feeling a bit lazy to get his weapons from his bike, he just settles for the weapons that he found lying around the house. There were three weapons hanging on the wall. The first one that he tried was a strange weapon that was like a claw which you could wear on your arm. He didn’t even know how to work this thing, let alone, know its name. ( O_o;; seriously, I really don’t know the name of Loz’s weapon… does anybody know what’s it called?) Cloudilocks, out of curiosity, touched one of its tips and was given a sudden jolt of electricity that made his already spiky blonde hair even more spiky-er. He threw the thing aside, afraid of what it might do next and went for the second weapon that was on the wall. The next were a couple of gunblades that, in his opinion, were very well made. He gave the gun a cock as he marveled at its workmanship; he didn’t even realize that he accidentally pulled the trigger! The bullet came ricocheting off the floor, bouncing off the ceiling to the walls and every where else, making Cloudylocks duck. After the bullet had shot out of a glass window, he also set the two gunblades aside. He wasn’t really a fan of gunblades anyways… Finally he came to the third and last weapon, which was a double bladed sword called a sabou… if he remembered correctly. It felt as light as a feather as he made a few hacks with it in thin air. There he started his exercise with a few of his strong swishes.  He wasn’t used to swords as light as this. Compared to the buster sword or the 1st Tsurugi, this was just a twig. In fact it was so light that he lost his control over his arm and smashed the sword against the wall, breaking one of its blades into tinny tiny pieces. “Oops…” was all that he could say as he gulped. He looked around to see if anyone saw him. He placed the sword on the shelf and covered it with a cloth, making sure to hide all the pieces.Cloudylocks slowly tiptoed away from the scene of the crime then stretched casually as if nothing had happened.  He yawned a few times, feeling his exhaustion from traveling finally catch up to him. Luckily, he happened find his way to the bedroom where in he found three cozy looking beds. He was too tired to think or to feel any remorse that he was trespassing in private property; more so in a bedroom. The blonde jumped on one of the beds, rubbing his head against a pillow; revealing himself of the softness of a bed once more and grabbing a teddy bear that was sitting beside it. But slowly he found himself stand up and back away again from an overwhelming smell that was coming from the sheets. It was the smell of musk and odor of a strong male that would make you want to hurl. He got enough of that during his SOLDIER days and he didn’t need to be reminded of that smell…. ever again. The blond didn’t even notice that this bed was the messiest of the lot. With a pinched nose, he backs away from that accursed bed, taking with him the cute little teddy bear in the hopes of saving it from the smell of doom. He goes over to the next bed which was rather effeminate looking in his opinion, it was neat and tidy compared to the last one. Just when he sat on it, he slowly felt himself sink deep within into the mattress, all he could do to prevent himself from sinking further was to hold on to the blankets, which wasn’t really much help. “What the fuck?” he wondered out loud. Who in a right mind would want to sleep in a water bed anyway!? He struggled to get out, squiggling his sinking ass off of the bed. He was on all fours when he was finally free, panting as thought he were running. He clutched tightly at his chest and on to the teddy bear as if his very life depended on it. Never in his life did he experience such a scary mattress before. He landed with a soft thud on the last bed; and feeling that it was safe to sleep on, he snuggled tightly to the teddy bear then covers himself with a blanket ready to take a long deserved nap…. Yup, it was juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust right. XD A few hours later the three clones were back with their bikes from their little excursion… “How the hell could you two forget your own weapons you idiots!?!” cried Kadaj, the baby clone, stomping his way towards their cottage. “What do you mean us?” inserted Loz, “You forgot yours too!” he said whimpering. “Now now, let’s not fight you two.” Yazoo said calmly. “Stop it Kadaj, you’re gonna make Loz cry again.” “The hell do I care about that cry baby!?” shouted Kadaj as he kicked the front door open. He entered the house, grumbling under his breath followed by his two siblings. The three of them stopped dead in their tracks sensing that something wasn’t as it used to be. “Shh… don’t move.” whispered Kadaj cautiously taking another step. Yazoo on the other hand went over to the table and noticed something different along with Loz behind him. “Heeey…. Somebody’s been eatin’ out of my porridge.” Loz complained. “Urgh… someone sticked his tongue into mine….” said Yazoo. “Somebody ate all of my porridge!” Kadaj gasped. “But… the hell do I care.” He snaps. “I didn’t like that porridge anyway. Saves me the trouble of eating it.” >_> Another vain popped on to Yazoo’s forehead at Kadaj’s expense. But his eyes were then slowly diverted to his Nightmare Gunblades on the floor. “ What the – ? Somebody’s been using my gunblades!” he said in outrage. “And I’m loosing amo.” “Somebody’s been playing in with my weapon too!” said Loz as he picked his up. Everything was cut short when an enraged scream reached their ears. “SOMEONE FUCKING DISTROYED MY SABOU!” said an enraged Kadaj, complete with flaming fiery eyes and background while he was holding what was left of his sword. “I SWEAR I’LL KILL THE PERSON WHO DID THIS!!!!” A loud snore suddenly cut their conversation up. The three of them stopped, turned their heads and made their way to the bedroom where the sound seemed to be coming from. They flung open the door and stepped in. “Uh! Somebody messed my sheets!” cried Yazoo, going over and straightening the creases on his bed. “Hey someone’s been sleeping on my bead.” said Loz. Yazoo looked at his quizzically. “How would you know? Your bed is always messy!” “I could tell from the smell…” the oldest of the lot said seriously… “And…” he whimpered. “And?” “Mr. Snuggles is missing!!!” he burst out crying at the loss of his teddy bear, leaving his two siblings with sweat drops on their heads. “You’ve kept that bear all these years?” He nods. There was a sudden complete silence… “riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight….” ………. There were a few more moments of blinking until… “Aha! I found the culprit!” exclaimed Kadaj, pointing to his own bed. Sure enough they found a person sleeping soundly amongst the rumpled sheets. The three of them stared intently at this sleeping creature that invaded their privacy. “What should we do with him?” asked Yazoo. “Gah!” it’s now Loz’s turn to point. “He took Mr. Snuggles.” He whimpered and then suddenly moped in one corner. Another sweat drop session. “Should we wake him up first?” Yazoo said, turning back to the subject at hand.  “I say we kill him!” Kadaj said maniacally, raising his broken sword. Yazoo prevented him from pouncing the person on the bed by grabbing the hem of his bother’s leather suit. “Lemmie go!” Kadaj struggled.“It won’t do you any good if you kill him Kadaj.” Yazoo sighs. “What if your sheets get soaked with his blood?” At this Kadaj considerably calmed down. “You have a point there.” He blinked as he was gently put back down by his brother. He didn’t want his bed sheets to be ruined. Blood never comes off no matter how many times you wash it. ‘Sides, dry-clean is pretty hard to find in these parts. He shrugs and thinks for a bit, putting his thumb to his chin… Until another light bulb went flashing on top of his head once more. “Aha! I’ve got it!” He pounds his palm with his fist and goes back to the dining room. Loz and Yazoo stared after him, blinking with sweatdrops on their foreheads. Unexpectedly, Kadaj came back with a bowl of hot steaming porridge, skipping hyedee-hoo as he did; looking much like a maniac idiot than anything else. “  What the hell do you you’re doing Kadaj?” Yazoo asked. “Ehehhehe…” He laughs evilly.  “Should I give it to him?” he stands over the sleeping person on his bed, ready to pour the icky porridge over him. “Noo!” “Wait!” “Yeeeees!” “Hey! I think I found mother!” Loz exclaimed out of the blue. “Huh?” At this, Kadaj turns his head. “Where?” “Right here!” Loz picked up the shiny black box on the floor and then skippity -skips over to Kadaj with joy. Kadaj spreads his arms with anticipation and hugely sparkly eyes; the bowl of porridge left forgotten. “Gimmie!”  Yazoo just observed all the insanity with a sigh. In all the excitement, Loz suddenly tripped over the gunblades that were still lying on the floor, sending the shiny black box into the air, floating like it was on slow-mo. The box uncaps, spewing icky glowing green liquid, pouring all of its contents down upon Kadaj’s beautiful silky silver hair. “M-MY HAAAAAIIIIIR!!! I JUST SHAMPOODED IT THIS MORNING!!!” was the last thing that he said before… KKAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM! A loud explosion occurred. Making Loz blast away like rag doll to the wall, as for Yazoo, he was quick on the intake and took for cover behind a bed. As the dust clears, Loz crumbled off of the wall with dizzy spirals in his eyes, while Yazoo poked his head out from behind the mattress.  “Wah happen…?” Loz was the first one to ask. “I dunno.” Yazoo shrugged as he dusted off himself while straightening up. Now Cloudylocks, for his part, was still sound asleep despite all the noise. He was only disturbed from his deep slumber when a sudden weight crushed itself on his chest. Groggily he opened his eyes, not even bothering to wipe the pool of drool on the side of his face which made a sting of saliva with a teddy bear. He blinked several times before everything came into focus. He looked up only for him to find that he was staring into familiar glowing mako green eyes. “Long time no see… Cloud.” Said a silky velvety voice. Cloudylocks screamed at the top of his lungs, realizing that he was now face to face with his arch nemesis and night mare… Sephiroth. “Nooooooo!” he jumped out of bed, pushing Sephiroth off of him; going straight through the nearest wall, leaving a Cloud shaped hole, complete with his hair spikes. “Hey, no wait!” Sephy called after him. “We’re still gonna fight remember!?” he shouted, waving his masamune in the air. He picked himself up, planning to go after the haughty blonde, but was stopped when he felt a tap on his shoulder. “Hold it, and where do you think you’re going?” said a voice. Annoyed, he turned around and found the two other clones staring at him with amused looks. “Before you go anywhere you first have to do something for us.” ********** “Why’s that porridge taking so long?” Loz whined in his seat, holding a spoon and a fork in each hand,complete with a bib. “Yeah, hurry it up. We’re starving.” Yazoo agreed. Sephiroth scoffed from the kitchen, wearing a pink apron around his waist with his long sliver mane tide up in a tight ponytail. “Hold your horses. It’ll be ready in a minute. Geez….” The End. ^________________________^ |
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September 8, 2006
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<333333333333
(I'm laughing my ass off XD)
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The most Ironic word in the world is STILL RainCloud
^_^
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[link] <--SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION >O<
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I love you more than anything in this world...
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The most Ironic word in the world is STILL RainCloud
^_^
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[link] <--SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION >O<
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- I'm a =Vixen-sama fangirl
- Visit the ~final--fantasy club, or Sephy will kill you ...
- Visit my Yaoi gallery: [link]
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Because blood and tea go well together.
~*~*~*~*
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"Death is lighter than a feather, Duty is heavier than a mountain" -Wheel of Time
oh and Loz's weapon is called the Dual Fang...I think ^^
another great story!!
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You've never known insanity until you've seen my mind at work 8D!
"Who am I? Bad Booty-shakin Pickanosis! That's who I am!"
OHEMGEE CAPITAL LETTERS!!!!
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moved to a new account
.+†+†+.
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I love you more than anything in this world...
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- I'm a =Vixen-sama fangirl
- Visit the ~final--fantasy club, or Sephy will kill you ...
- Visit my Yaoi gallery: [link]
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